marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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