i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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