he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
