i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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