I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
