okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
