I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
