You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
