I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
