that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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