Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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