After last night, I could never be a politician.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
