we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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