So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
