5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
