I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
