pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
