Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
