Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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