You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
