dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
