So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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