I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
