Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
