dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
