he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
