Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
