god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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