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Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
