No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
