Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
