There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
