So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
