you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
