I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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