the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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