i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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