Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I supernannyed him into submission
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
