you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
