his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
