Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
ttyl tear gas
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
