Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
