I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
