Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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