i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
