i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
