he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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