I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
