Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
