Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
